Glendale Pawn and Jewelry’s resident curmudgeon, the irascible and foul-tempered gpawn would like to take a moment to comment on the current political fiasco that is taking place in our nations’ capital.

Important Note: For the record gpawn officially does not care about anyone’s political affiliation.

Like a good many American’s, when I go home after a long day at work, I like to park-it in my chair, have a cold beverage and watch a bit of news on the television. Now in case you haven’t noticed, the news has kind of been dominated by the endless in-fighting, political posturing, grandstanding  and ranting of our elected officials over this “used to be a non-issue” debt ceiling thing. Yes, we’re in financial trouble as a country but in the immortal words of Daniel Lawrence Whitney…we still have to Git R Done!

Sadly, there doesn’t seem to be a solution since these yahoo’s have been so busy getting on the television to spout the latest version of their nonsensical ramblings. They’ve also been busy hooting, hollering, crying, throwing staplers at each other and generally behaving like a group of first-graders who have been eating nothing but sugar cubes for weeks.

So what does gpawn propose?

Now more than ever I think we need a Mrs. DeLaughter to straighten this bunch out.

Mrs. DeLaughter was gpawn’s first grade teacher waaaaaay back in the day when there were such things as one-room farm school houses. (Now don’t laugh, this was one of the LAST one room farm school houses and I think the District kept it open more for fond memories than anything else…no, we did not hitch our horses outside as the automobile had been invented by that time…stop laughing.)

Mrs. DeLaughter taught grades ONE through SIX. She was also the school superintendent and custodian. She stood about 5’ 3” tall, weighed about 200 lbs and was a loving, caring and nurturing person…until a fight would break out on the playground between groups of bratty kids. When that happened she morphed into a combination of The Hulk and a squad of Force Recon Marines on leave in Tokyo.

(Hulk illustration from Wikimedia)

Wielding a yardstick like a samurai warrior, Mrs. De Laughter would wade right into the ruckus, whoop everyone involved and then gather the offending hooligans for a lecture where she would explain in no uncertain terms that if they did not play well together, obey the rules and function as a group, her repeat performance would make what just happened look like a lovely day at the park.

A student could also count on hearing the yardstick slicing through the air and headed for the back of their head when the following classroom offenses were perpetrated:

Talking out of turn.

Not paying attention.

Giggling at the misfortune of others.

and the BIG ONE…disrespecting her or other students.

Now loyal readers, Mrs. DeLaughter has been gone for quite awhile having passed away peacefully at the extraordinary age of 95. She lived a full and rewarding life. The alumnus of this little one room farm school house has stayed in touch over the years and the students, with the notable exception of gpawn, have gone on to become pretty successful people.

(Not Mrs. DeLaughter…but you get the idea?)

So…here is my proposed solution to the budget ceiling stalemate that is presently occurring in Washington, D.C.:

Step #1: Somewhere…there is another Mrs. DeLaughter…we need to find her…NOW!

Step #2: Gather all members of the House and Senate in one large room.

Step#3: Supply “Mrs. DeLaughter” with a nice sturdy yardstick.

Step#4: Wait about ½ hour.

Step#5: Problem solved.

Okay, we’re Glendale Pawn and Jewelry. We’re the best pawn shop in Arizona and probably the world. We don’t know much about politics and we could really care less about who is stabbing who in the Capital. We help people with quick loans. We buy stuff for cash from people who have discovered that they have too much stuff. We also sell some fantastic merchandise at 30% – 60% below retail pricing. This is what we do. Now the point of this little tirade is that if a Glendale Pawn and Jewelry can figure out this political stuff…well…okay, that’s enough for today.

Let us know if you need any other political problems solved and as always…

Thanks for coming by,

Gpawn

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: As we said before, we really do not care about anyone’s political affiliation. Seriously…we don’t care. If you think you recognized the behavior of the political party that you belong to in this blog post or the political party that you’re opposed to, well you may be correct. If you think that a “Mrs. DeLaughter” could really straighten this mess out and you had a laugh…well, we agree.

gpawn’s Pick of the Post:

Okay, Father’s Day has passed, but I still wish someone would get this for me. – gpawn

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