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(Okay, our blog posting this week titled, “So, it seems that we all needed some new photos…”was supposed to conclude our weekly blog, but we decided that one more was perhaps in order.)
Let’s establish something before we commence with this posting…gpawn qualifies as a curmudgeon.
What exactly is a curmudgeon?
Well, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines curmudgeon as:
cur·mud·geon noun \
1 archaic: miser
2 : a crusty, ill-tempered, and usually old man
Ahhhhh, they pretty much nailed gpawn with definition #2.
So kids, gather round and gpawn will regale you with a couple of stories, from personal experience, of past 4th of July Holidays from many, many years ago. (Your 4th of July memories are probably substantially different.)
First of all, the holiday was celebrated in family gatherings. Anybody remember those? Family members, who held grudges for years, would set aside their differences and gather in patriotic peace (at least until the “adult beverages” began to flow…) to honor the birthday of our great country. Massive amounts of food were consumed and usually an elder male was assigned the vitally important task of “Grill master”.
Now the responsibility of the Grill master was ostensibly to…duh…cook the food outdoors over a genuine charcoal fueled BBQ grille. However, as all of us Curmudgeons truly know, the Grill master provided a prelude to the evening’s fireworks by dumping far too much lighter fluid into the charcoal because, “This is taking forever to heat up…” and causing an enormous (Think tactical nuclear explosion) fireball that could be seen from space.
After the family had eaten way too much and drank perhaps a bit more than they were used to, the talk amongst the kids would always focus on the possible arrival of the man that was truly the Santa Claus of the 4th of July…the man who the kids KNEW would always turn any family gathering/celebration into a memorable event…the man they referred to as… (drum roll please)…”The Fun Uncle”!
Now the adults in the family always referred to “The Fun Uncle” as the seldom spoken of…”Crazy Uncle” and his arrival was usually dreaded by all of the upstanding, adult family members.
Why did the kids anticipate the arrival of the Fun Uncle with such longing? Because they KNEW that as cool as all of the “Store-Bought” fireworks would be, the Fun Uncle would bring a hand-crafted, explosive device that would truly be the “Grand Finale” of the 4th of July festivities.
Now I’ll leave the rest to your imagination, but let’s just say that there was always the possibility of injuries and property damage when the fuse was lit on whatever large and evil looking device he happened to bring. Those with common sense would move away to a safe distance and drag the kids with them. The rest of us, gpawn included, would stand close by to watch the ignition sequence.
Yes, we survived. Our hearing eventually returned and nobody in the neighborhood seemed to be too terribly shocked at the concussive blast and fireball.
It was after all…The 4th of July.
So, we’ve regulated ourselves to the point that the “Crazy Uncle” at the 4th of July may or may not exist anymore. We now have helicopters, surveillance cameras, consumer safety commissions, etc. and they’ve made it pretty hard for Crazy Uncles to put on their annual show.
This year, as always, Gpawn will be sitting on the patio the evening of the 4th, listening closely to see if there are still any “Crazy Uncles” out there…
I strongly suspect there are.
Have a great 4th of July Holiday loyal readers, boys and girls. We’re closed for the 4th of July Holiday on Monday.
Legal Disclaimer:
This blog posting in no way is intended to encourage “Crazy Uncles/Fun Uncles” to revive the tradition of having fun with dangerous explosive devices. No liability for any associated mayhem shall be the responsibility of Glendale Pawn and Jewelry or the curmudgeonly gpawn. You’re on your own…
Have a great one…thanks for coming by,
gpawn
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